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Accept the perfect uncertainty of the future

Know that everything is working out perfectly in every moment.  Despite whatever feelings of dis-comfort, pain, hurt might come up from time to time, everything really is working out perfectly.

Usually, if we have feelings that lead us to believe that everything is not working out, it’s because we have expectations.  It’s because we have attempted to predict the future.

Letting go of our need to know the future frees us in so many ways.  Letting go opens us up to accept the present.  Once we remember to accept the present then our expectations fall away and we are free to accept that everything is indeed working out perfectly.

It is our expectations, or to put it another way, our predictions that lie at the root of so much discontent and dis-ease.  Why not accept the perfect uncertainty of the future?  Why not live fully in the only moment we have, which is always the present moment?

Life really is as simple as dropping expectations and living in the present.  Because when we are truly present, we are able to connect with our heart, to revert to our true nature, to revert to being love.

Yet our humanness has a strong desire to imagine that it can predict the future.  This aspect of humanness is one that demonstrates the arrogant, fear based way of being that is sits below the surface of the actions that many of us take every day.

Live in love, in this moment.  Safe in the knowledge that everything is working out perfectly.  Which of course means that everything is perfect right now, including you.

With love

x

 

We’re all doing our best…

Do you believe that in every moment, that everyone is doing the best they can based on everything they know?  Do you believe that you are always doing the best you can based on everything you know?

Often we confuse the learning that an experience presents us with and the opportunity to implement that learning with the experience that we’ve been through.  We then give ourselves a hard time because “with hindsight” we can see …… or we could/should have …….   We seem to forget that it was only because we had the experience that we now have those insights!  Without the experience those insights would not be in our life.

Sometimes we’ll give ourselves such a hard time that we decide that we’re not going to embark on similar experiences because we did so badly in the previous experience! Typically, this is because we are so keen to find ways to judge ourselves (and others) rather than to accept the experiences that life makes available to us as gifts.

Acceptance of life’s experiences enables us to readily accept that everyone is doing their best in every moment, based on what they know in that moment.

Return to the original questions and re-frame them; do you accept that you and everyone else is doing the best that they can based on what they know in each and every moment?

Make a commitment to accept that we are all doing our best.  Be accepting for a day and see how that feels for you.

With love

x

When we are true to our heart then unease and dis-ease melt away

From time to time we feel uneasy, maybe we feel dis-ease.  Typically, we’ve become conditioned to view these feelings as problems to be fixed, so we look for ways to “fix the problem”. Today, consider that there might be different responses to feelings of unease or dis-ease.  We could be grateful for the feelings, grateful for us noticing the feelings, we could be grateful that we are feeling those feelings.  From that grateful place we can really allow ourselves to feel those feelings.  To breathe deeply and notice in our heart what those feelings are telling us.

For many of us, noticing in our heart will feel strange, because, we are so much more used to noticing in our mind.  And whilst our mind is an amazing thinking tool, our heart is where all our wisdom lies.  Practice noticing the wisdom of your heart, especially with feelings. Listening to the wisdom of your heart opens the way for your feelings to take on completely different meaning.  With the wisdom of our heart, the true meaning of our feelings is available to us, our thinking mind is no longer applying it’s powerful thought and logic to something that is a matter for our heart.

Our heart understands that feelings are not problems to be fixed, quite the opposite, feelings are one of the gifts of being human.  Feelings are indicators of how connected we are with our heart, with our soul, with our purpose. Every feeling of unease or dis-ease is an indicator of dis-connection.  And whilst we are dis-connected we are incapable of love.  We are incapable of truly loving without conditions and that is what true love is.

True love has no conditions attached, yet for most of us any feeling of what we call love for ourselves is conditional.  Perhaps look at love for ourselves as feeling good about ourselves and then the conditions become clearer……  I’ll feel good about myself when I’m promoted, when I have that car, when I can retire, when we’re in that house, when I weigh this much etc etc.

Reflect on your own “rules” for feeling good about yourself.  If you have any rules then you are putting conditions on your love of yourself.  And that is not true love. Without the capability to love ourselves we are incapable of truly (without conditions) loving anyone or anything else.  Imagine a life without true love…… that’s the life that most people live and that is one of he reasons why the world is in the fear-filled state that it’s in.

What’s more, remember how we learned as children, by modeling those that had most influence on us.  So, we are showing the next generation the way, and for the majority, that way is a way without true love.  Is that really what we want for the world?

When we are connected with the wisdom of our heart, when we allow ourselves to experience that wisdom in every moment then we return to love.  What’s more when we are true to our heart then unease and dis-ease melt away.

With love

 

x

 

Being held accountable by others – does it work?

Holding ourselves accountable for our life can feel like a scary thing to do. Because if you hold yourself accountable, then there’s only one person who you can go back to if things don’t feel right, or you feel in a place of pain, or perhaps a place of isolation. And that person is you!

The truth is that in the end, we are all accountable for our own life; no one else can ever be accountable for that.

So, is there any value in having peer groups that hold each other accountable? The answer is; yes, but only as a temporary measure, as a sticking plaster. There are a couple of reasons for that:

  1. We all own our own life and we can only ever be 100% accountable to ourselves. We live with ourselves forever, so it’s good to know that we’ll always have us to be accountable to!
  2. Everyone has their own stuff going on in their life. The vast majority of people are struggling to hold together their own life so the likelihood of them consistently showing up over an extended period of time to hold anyone else accountable is slim to none.

Therefore, peer accountability can provide a short term, temporary support to all of us, but only as a stepping-stone for each of us to be able to accept full accountability for everything in our life.

What’s more, the joy and freedom that we feel when we are truly accountable for our own life is a joy and freedom that we all deserve to feel, in every moment of every day. Give yourself that joy and freedom, take accountability, and lead the way!

With Love

Tim x

Can we really influence our response to external events?

Events in life come and go.  We all experience events in our life.  The question for each of us is; how will we respond to each event in that moment?

We cannot see the future, therefore, we cannot predict events that have yet to take place.  So trying to predict our response to any event is impossible, because we can only respond in the moment, once the event has taken place.

Or could we perhaps decide on our response before the event?

Because it’s our state of being that has a huge influence on both our immediate response and subsequent actions.  What’s our state of being at that moment and what will we do in response to the event?

We all, always have a state of being, we are always being.  But, most of us are so obsessed with doing, that we focus most of our energy and attention on what we’re doing. When we want to make a change in our life, oftentimes we change what we’re doing and hope that will result in enduring change.  It won’t!  Because if we continue being as we’ve always been then a change in what we are doing will be temporary.  Lasting change comes when we work at the level of being as well as the level of doing.

If you want to change the way in which you typically respond to events then decide on the way of being that you feel will enable you to be most resourceful.

Be aware that a way of being is something that runs through our whole life.  If we decide that being loving is how we want to be then our intention is to be loving in every moment. One of the lovely things about being loving is that on the occasions we notice that we are not being as loving as we would like to be, our response is to be loving. Our response is not to beat ourselves up or to dwell in a less loving way of being, because we are choosing to be loving, the most loving thing to do is to be loving!

Life tends to move at a relentlessly fast pace, meaning that it’s easy to get caught up reacting to events and situations without taking a moment to breathe, notice our way of being and to respond. The gift is in the breath and noticing our way of being, because that gift leads us to a place of response and not reaction.

So, yes, we can really influence our response to external events. The key is to choose a way of being that serves us and to be kind to ourselves when we get caught up in the moment and find ourselves reacting in a way that is not aligned with the way of being we have chosen.

With Love

Tim x

Meditation and heartfelt connection – is there a link?

What does meditation really do for us? Does it give us a few moments of relative quiet or do the benefits go further? What’s your experience of meditation?

In an attempt to answer the question posed at the top of this blog, I’ll share my experience and journey with meditation. Back in 1998 I first attempted meditation, for a couple of weeks I read a book, listened to tapes (no CD’s or iPods back then!) but no matter what I did, I couldn’t get the noise of my mind out of the meditation experience. Which meant that I wasn’t meditating properly as I understood that meditation was about quietening the mind. That was it! The tapes and book were consigned to a cupboard until many years later when they were given to the charity shop.

Do you recognise that kind of experience? Or perhaps you know someone whose experience something similar.

Looking back, I realise that I simply wasn’t ready for meditation. The very fact that I was judging my meditation experience showed that I wasn’t ready. There was more work for me to do on me. At the time, I though that meditation wasn’t for me, that it didn’t offer me anything.

But, here’s something to think about; when we are ready, we are ready…..

Roll on 15 years. 15 years of work on me, with input and support from many wise, loving and talented mentors, guides and coaches. My next attempt at meditation was about to commence!

What a difference! Within the first couple of days I learned that every meditation is perfect and what an amazing insight that turned out to be. Because, not only did that free me from judging mediation experiences but it opened the path that freed me from judgment in every aspect of my life.

Understanding that everything is perfect, just as it is, has completely transformed my life. Because when you know that everything is perfect then acceptance of each and every moment is a given. What else can you do other than accept the divine perfection of the moment?

That moment by moment acceptance can only be experienced through presence in the moment. And there is a basis for a life of gratitude. Because by being present and accepting the moment, we are being grateful for the perfection of every moment. The acceptance can only take place whilst we are being grateful.

The power of meditation, the power to bring us to the present and to accept the present with love and gratitude serves millions of people every moment of every day.

Returning to the question at the top of this blog.

I hope you can see through my story that meditation is a path, it is one of the paths to heartfelt connection. It’s not the only path but it is a well-trodden path.

Try it and see if it’s the path for you.

With love

x

Fear or Love? A simple choice with massive consequences.

Perhaps it’s common to become disillusioned with people, and there are undoubtedly some people who treat others without love, kindness or basic human decency.  But imagine a life where you come to believe that most people are in some way out to do you harm, whether that’s emotional, physical, financial or some other type of harm.

To reach a place of disillusionment, to believe that most people are out to do you harm is a place totally based in fear.  You could only even consider those possibilities if you were being fearful.

Fear is the primary driver around the globe today.   The elected leaders are fearful, the leaders of industry are fearful, the community leaders are fearful.

How safe does the globe feel now?  Being run by fearful people.

Look around.  Do you sense that kindness, love and trust are commonplace or are fear, dis-trust and abuse more readily visible?

Typically, those amongst us that are fearful will sense fear, dis-trust and abuse.  Those of us living in love will sense kindness, love and trust.

We are all responsible for our own life experience.  We can choose fear, we can choose love, we can choose any number of ways of being.

Be aware that the consciousness of the planet is determined by the consciousness of each and every one of us.  If the predominant way of being is fear then that will be the predominant consciousness on the planet.

This is where we are today, we are living amongst an epidemic of fear.  And remember that we are all contributors to the consciousness of our world and we are collectively choosing fear over love!

Would you choose to live in a world of fear or a world of love?

Fear will lead to the world self destructing in some way.  Each of us can do something to save the world simply by choosing to be love and to share our love in every moment.

Fear or love?  A simple choice with massive consequences.

With love

x

Listen

Resistance is a sign of mis-alignment, beware and be aware.

Whether you feel resistance in your heart, your mind or your body, please, please, please LISTEN! There is something that’s not as your soul wants it to be. Don’t mask the resistance… most of us use food, alcohol, nicotine, drugs, exercise to distract us from the messages we really need to receive.

Next time you feel some dis-comfort or resistance, notice your reflex reaction, then pause, listen to your soul’s message….. What could be the purpose of the resistance? How does repeating your reflex patterns of behaviour and responses enable the underlying message to be heard (or not be heard)? Then choose your response and notice how that feels for you.

With love

x

Be loving to everything

Being the love that you want to see and feel in the world.

Today, be loving towards everyone and everything, every person you interact with, however briefly, send them love. Be loving towards every miracle of nature, the beautiful green leaves on the trees, the refreshing rain that is essential to survival of live on earth, even the midges that might have bitten you… be loving to everything.

Notice how you feel as you’re being loving. Also notice how those around you interact with you as you’re being loving.

Maybe, just maybe, you’ll decide to be loving tomorrow as well

With love

x

Wake up and decide!

I look around me on the journey to join the team whom I’m blessed to be with today and what do I see, hear and feel? …………

Silence
Dis-connection
Misery
Pain

Everyone……… It doesn’t have to be this way! Wake up and decide to enjoy this time on this planet. It really is a choice we all have. Granted, the world tends to be set up to view misery, pain, dis-connection and dis-ease as the norm. But it really doesn’t have to be his way.

From my heart

With love

x